November 25th
The Monarch, Camden
Off we go again on the promotion trail, this time in a futile attempt to get Natwest Tower to number one. And so the tour began where the last one left off: London town. On this occasion we found ourselves in the majestic Monarch on a stage in front of a big plate glass window. Not much of a sound check due to dodgy roadworks but the sound onstage was one of the best we have had.
Plenty of friendly faces were there to spur us on and our demented ambition took succour in the fact that people managed to not laugh when we explained we were DEFINITELY going to beat X-Factor to number one. Felt so at home that we even tried some new material.
After the show we met even more lovely people who forced beers and Jager shots upon us and made sure that we got back on the road very late. Got to see The Indelicates play which was a real cherry on the toast. However, trouble was afoot when we climbed into the van and realised we were without mattress and an emergency south-london mattress rescue was needed.
We then set off for the next destination and managed to get within 3 centimetres of it before being pulled over by the police. Fortunately they were pro-mattress police and sent us home with nay more than a thick ear about slowing down suspiciously in front of a police officer at five in the morning.
SET LIST: This Head, This Heart / Boredom is the Killer / Under the Sand / Natwest Tower / Sylvia / Road to the Cemetery / What Can’t Be Taken Back / Persian Punch
November 26th
The End, Newcastle
So, our debut appearance in Newcastle was cancelled at the last minute by the promoter. H’way the toon!
Making the most of our day off, we stopped off in Oxford to search for a replacement shaker after someone threw our last one into the audience at the Monarch. It was not retrieved. If anyone knows the whereabouts of a small green skull that makes a shakey noise when… err… shaken, do drop us a line.
We elected Birmingham as the place to stay for the night, and just before we tucked ourselves in there was a bone-shuddering thump on the window of the Colonel’s palace. In walks Soldier, a 7’2” monster of a man. Apparently he was a mere 6’11” a couple of years ago, but a motorbike accident stretched his spine out a few more inches for good measure. He bumps into lampshades and crushes your bones to dust with his handshake, but he was terribly sweet.
Moving on…
November 27th
Kro Bar, Manchester
There are supposedly 4 Kro-Bars in Manchester. Why? We don’t know. What we do know is the particular Kro-Bar we ended up in on a wet Friday night up t’north was a fine establishment that sold beer by the jug. Cricket!
Tom Kerswill, an old friend and a genuine musical all-rounder has been playing/promoting and DJing in Manchester for a good few years now and it was a pleasure to finally get to appear at one of his nights. Some un-named, dead member of the band forgot to bring the acoustic guitar to the “Manchester acoustic show” so we ended up doing only a very slightly watered down version of the full set. The water in this instance was putting only a meagre snare in the Colonels evil lap.
Suffice to stay the loudness of our antics didn’t put off those that had witnessed the lovely acoustic gentleness that came before us (including a lovely few songs from the honey voiced Dr. Kerswill himself) and it even managed to bring a nice gentleman in a Tool T-shirt a little bit closer to us. We liked him.
After another jug we all jumped into the rascal van ™ and drove a mere two metres before the blue flashing lights appeared in rear-view mirror and Colonel Sexlife once more gave a little private audition in the back of a police car. Suffice to say, he passed with flying colours.
SET LIST: This Head, This Heart / Boredom is the Killer / Under the Sand / Sylvia / The Road to the Cemetery / What Can’t Be Taken Back
(p.s. The first person to spot the deliberate mistake in that set list wins a free copy of our Xmas single, ‘NatWest Tower’)
November 28th
Time Crisis @ The Hope, Brighton
Last time we were in Brighton it was August and it was bloody gorgeous. It was warm enough to sit on the beach at night and the locals had their sunny faces on. As if to demonstrate the full spectrum of the Brighton experience, this time it was cold, dark and there was a storm blowing icy wind and rain through the town’s tiny corridors. The sunny-faced locals were now swearing at us. The Colonel began to make a low, guttural growl and we carefully dragged him away, teeth gnashing.
Thankfully, before long we were welcomed by a bunch of familiar friendly faces. The awesome sound engineer at The Hope took us into his loving arms, the boys from Puritans turned up soon after beaming cheeky grins, the fantastic Prince Harry lot gave us the glad hand and the brilliant promoter Becki pushed beers into our fists. This is the Brighton we remember. Simon was so excited he tried to french kiss a microphone and chipped a tooth.
Prince Harry and Puritans both set the bar pretty high, they’re both awesome bands and it’s only a matter of time before the country at large recognises the little goldmine of great music that’s growing on the south coast at the moment. By the time we were on stage, spirits were so high it could only ever be a great show. In contrast to last night’s laid back acoustic gig, this one was – in the words of Puritans – ‘banging’. We hit everything as hard as we could and the audience hit back, giving us the necessary love juice to try out some new material, which went off without a hitch. That NEVER happens.
The next day our good friend Rishi stuffed us full of food and took the day off to show us around Brighton. Unfortunately the storm had grown even colder, windier and wetter. So our exhaustive tour of Brighton and Hove was reduced to a brief look at Nick Cave’s house and going to the cinema. We’re not ashamed to admit that Paranormal Activity scared the shit out of us, and when we eventually crawled back into bed Simon lay awake the entire night, convinced of a demonic presence. One other than the Colonel.
Grundy on the other hand slept like a baby, thinking about THIS.
SET LIST: This Head, This Heart / Boredom is the Killer / Under the Sand / NatWest Tower / The Ape, The Owl and The Satellite / What Can’t Be Taken Back
November 30th
All FM 96.9, Manchester
Over breakfast Grundy had a sudden recollection of being woken in the middle of the night by a strange mumbling sound. Shaking off the cobwebs and rubbing his eyes, it gradually dawned on him what it was: Simon was having a lengthy one-way conversation in the darkness with no-one in particular.
And so, with the forces of evil (demonic spirits) and the forces of good (chimpanzee on a segway) still battling it out for supremacy in our minds, we hopped on the bus and headed back to Manchester. Ursula the DJ had fallen ill, so it was down to our good friend Tom Kerswill to take care of things. It was a shame Ursula couldn’t be there, but having Tom around made us feel right at home, having seen him just a couple of nights beforehand, and on our last visit to Manchester in August. We settled in quickly, had a good chat and played a couple of acoustic songs in the studio. Tom gave ‘NatWest Tower’ a spin, as well as a world exclusive of ‘Sylvia’, another product of our recent House of Strange session. Speaking of House of Strange, we managed to squeeze in a sneaky preview of their own forthcoming single, ‘Moon Song’, which will be out early next year. We’ll post some clips from the radio show on our Tumblr blog soon, keep an eye out.
After the show Tom had to head off to another engagement and we bade him farewell. Not long after, the locals started throwing things and we took it as our cue to leave town.
SET LIST: Boredom is the Killer / Under the Sand
December 2nd
Po Na Na, Norwich
Due to a Cambridge cancellation-related problem, the final night of the tour was announced halfway between Manchester and Norwich. The pressure was on. We hadn’t been expecting to finish a night early and had prepared a big fireworks-and-all extravaganza for the Haymakers. It was not to be though, so we decided to make our Po Na Na trip extra special by turning up on time. The lovely Milkbar crew were all in attendance and treated us like kings. We found this unsettling and skulked off to a nearby pub to watch some football and be treated like the pigs we are.
On our last visit to Norwich we discovered an awesome little pizza place opposite the Central Television studios where they cut us an amazing deal. We returned with the last of our tour pennies in hope of a repeat of the favour and unbelievably they remembered us. We will no doubt return on our next Norwich trip.
Back at the venue we caught all the other bands and then took to the stage with two nights worth of energy to use up on just one performance. The Colonel, more energetic than most, took to bounding around the stage. Le Zimbra found himself bouncing so high he nearly flattened his skull and Dead Simon played so hard during one of the tunes he broke the neck of the guitar.
After the set there was still energy spare so we all took to the dance floor and flopped about like cats in a tumble dryer.
That night a certain person named after a certain bear was meant to be putting us up in his house, but by the time the dust had settled he had vanished leaving us well and truly stranded. Thoughts of Alan Partridge in his Travel Tavern briefly flickered into our minds but all was saved by a man all of Norwich should treat like a god. Sam Hill.
Thanks mate. You saved us. Sorry about moving in the following day!
On the way back the trusty Rascal Wagon broke down leaving us stranded on the side of the A11. We didn’t manage to get home until sunrise but we did take some time out to have an interview with Radio Scilly
SETLIST: This Head, This Heart / Boredom is the Killer / Under The Sand / NatWest Tower/ The Ape, The Owl and The Satellite/ The Road to the Cemetery/ What Can’t Be Taken Back
